Nobody plans a reception for the people who will not dance, and they are usually the majority: the grandparents, the colleagues, the plus-ones, the friends from the other side who came alone. The good news is that they do not want much. They want a reason to stand near someone, a thing to look at that is not a phone, and one or two moments the whole room shares. Here is the list, by the hour.
Cocktail hour: the standing-around problem
Sixty minutes with a drink in one hand and nobody to talk to is where the non-dancers first decide the night is not for them. Give them something to do with the other hand.
Lawn games
Cornhole, giant Jenga, bocce, croquet. Taking turns next to someone is a socially safe way to be together without small talk, and the small talk arrives on its own. Put them within sight of the bar.
Cost: Rent for under a hundred dollars a set, or borrow. One person to set them out.
A live photo wall on the screen
In PartakeEvery photo a guest takes appears on a screen in the room within seconds. It gives the standing-around crowd a reason to take photos of each other, and it gives the ones who know nobody something to look at that is not their phone.
Cost: Included in a Partake package; the screen is one the venue already has.
A signature drink with a story
Two cocktails, named for something real: the drink from the first date, the bar where the proposal happened. A card on the bar tells the story. It is the cheapest conversation piece on this list.
Cost: Nothing beyond the bar tab. Ten minutes to write the card.
A blind tasting table
Four bourbons, or four wines, or four cheeses, numbered. A card to guess which is which and a small prize. Strangers will happily argue about number three.
Cost: The bottles, corkage if the venue charges it, and a friend to pour.
A live painter or a caricature artist
A painter working on the room itself, or an artist doing five-minute portraits of guests. People gather to watch, and the finished painting is the one wedding gift you will actually hang.
Cost: Several hundred to a few thousand dollars. Book months out.
Dinner: the seated hour
The room is fed, seated and waiting. This is the best hour of the night for anything that happens at a table, and the worst for anything that needs people to stand up.
Couple trivia, revealed by the DJ
In PartakeTen questions about the couple, answered on a phone between courses, revealed from the booth before the first dance with a leaderboard. The table argues over every answer, which is the entire point.
Cost: Included in a Partake package. The couple answer their own questions once.
The Fill-in Story Game
In PartakeOne person at the table collects words by label only, then reads the story out loud with the words dropped in. Four minutes, eight people, one shared laugh. Works at the shower and the rehearsal dinner too.
Cost: Included in a Partake package, with a free version you can play right now.
Conversation cards at each place
One prompt per guest, face down: the best thing you ate this year, the worst job you ever had, how you know the couple. Corny and effective, because it is permission to talk to the stranger on your left.
Cost: An hour of writing and a print run.
A table quiz against the other tables
One sheet per table, twenty questions, scored by the DJ. Nobody knows every answer, so the table has to talk, and the table that lost by a point has a grievance to bond over all night.
Cost: Twenty questions and a host who will do the scoring.
The open floor: for everyone who is not on it
The band starts, a third of the room dances, and the rest look for the exit. These are the things that keep them in the building.
Photo Challenges
In PartakePrompts on every phone: a photo with the person who travelled the farthest, a photo of your table doing its best impression of the first dance, a photo with someone you met tonight. Finished shots land on the wall in gold. It gives the non-dancers a mission that runs the whole night.
Cost: Included in a Partake package. Pick ten prompts from the list.
A photo booth, the analog kind
A backdrop, a box of props, and an instant camera or a phone on a stand. The digital ones are fine; the ones with a physical strip that goes home in a pocket are the ones people remember.
Cost: Rented booths run into the hundreds. A backdrop and an instant camera runs to fifty.
A dessert table with a job
Not a cake, a table: a s’mores station at a fire pit, a build-your-own sundae bar, a late-night grilled cheese. Food that has to be assembled is food people stand around and talk over.
Cost: Ask the caterer. A fire pit needs the venue’s permission and someone watching it.
Board games and cards in a quiet corner
A few tables away from the speakers with a deck of cards, a backgammon board, Uno. Grandparents and teenagers both end up there, sometimes together.
Cost: Nothing, if you own the games. A corner the venue will let you have.
Song requests from the table
In PartakeA request board on the phone, worked into the set by the DJ. A request that gets played is a small public win for someone who never planned to stand up, and it is the thing most likely to get them up in the end.
Cost: Included in a Partake package. Needs a DJ who will use it.
A cigar bar or a cocktail class
A roller with a table on the terrace, or a bartender teaching one drink to eight people at a time. Both give a group of strangers a fixed spot to stand and something to do with their hands for twenty minutes.
Cost: A few hundred dollars for either. Check the venue’s rules on smoking and glassware.
The last hour: for the ones who stayed
The people still in the room at eleven are the ones who love you most. Give them something to leave behind.
A video guestbook
In PartakeA question on the phone, thirty seconds of video from whoever wants to answer it. The advice from the last hour is different from the advice at seven o’clock, and usually better. An audio-only option for the ones who would rather not be on camera.
Cost: Included in a Partake package. Write five questions.
A late-night food truck
Tacos, pizza, fries. It appears at ten, the smell does the announcing, and the non-dancers who were about to leave stay another hour. The single most effective idea on this page per dollar.
Cost: A few hundred to a couple of thousand, depending on the truck and the headcount.
The send-off
Sparklers, ribbon wands, a tunnel of guests. It gives the end of the night a shape, and it is the one moment every single guest takes part in, dancers and not.
Cost: Sparklers are cheap. Someone sober has to hand them out and collect the buckets.
Five of the eighteen, from one code
The photo wall, the trivia, the Fill-in Story Game, Photo Challenges, the song requests and the video guestbook are all part of Partake Experience, which is $199 paid once. Guests scan the code on the table and everything runs in the browser they already have. Your DJ gets a screen to run the reveal from, and you get every photo, answer and message in one place afterwards.
Build your wedding free. Pay once when you go live.